Friday, February 29, 2008

Media Pitch - Rough Draft

Mr. Tyler Riggs
Herald Journal


Dear Mr. Riggs,

Many people believe that there is only one source of income and will perform jobs that they do not enjoy solely because of earned income. The Cache Valley Area Investors Association is promoting financial education and more importantly teaching people to become financially independent.

Preston Parker, president and founder of the organization began CVAIA for people to do just that, look outside of the box, and become financially independent. The CVAIA explores diverse topics and members can choose topics that interest them.

Now is the time for everyone in Cache Valley to become aware of ideas and strategies to make their living better and their pocketbooks not so tight. Mr. Parker or myself would gladly go into more depth on the subject and why the community of Logan has the resources to control their financial future.

The Cache Valley Area Investors Association was started in August 2007 and currently has 40 members. The CVAIA host meetings located at the Cache Chamber of Commerce every other Thursday and are open to everyone. It is free, easy to join, and meetings have started!

To learn more about our association you can check us out online,

For any further information please contact Preston Parker by phone, four three five – seven five seven – four five six zero, or via email: Thank you in advance for your consideration.


Katie Jo Matekovic
Public Relations


Preston said...

Your second sentence should be your lead sentence, as your first sentence is supporting information and not a hook.

Your second paragraph needs to rewritten as to not refer so vaguely to the first paragraph. Just spit out the doesn't need to be flowery.

I like the boilerplate, though not necessary, it works.

Jackson said...

Katie Jo-

I saw one superfluous comma and one that I would add.

In the second paragraph, I would add a comma in the first sentence after the word "organization."

A couple of paragraphs down, you say it's "free, easy to join, and..." You don't need a comma after join according to AP style. Other than that it looks great!